I'm Sorry

I'm sorry.

I really am.

I'm not ready to live without you, to never see your face, to never have another duct tape wrapped gift. I miss you terribly. Each and every day is a struggle to get out of bed and go on without you. You were my best friend. I don't even know how to grieve properly. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm withdrawn, I want to be alone, and I want the world to stop. The world isn't right without you in it.

I know I can't stop living my life; you wouldn't want me to lose myself no matter what. It's just so hard. And there is no one to turn to, no one to tell me the lie that you never saw it coming. I need you and your smart ass words. Send some down from heaven, hun. God won't mind.

I love you, my dear.

I'll forever miss you.