A Long Goodbye

It's always hard to say goodbye. I'm stuck in between the good and bye. Sounds funny, right? I just can't seem to let go. I don't want to.

I'm angry all the time. At you. At myself. At the world.
I can't get passed it.

I miss you. And I think about you all the time. It's funny that way. I never used to think about you nearly as much as what I do now. Now everything reminds me of you. A song, a movie, a car, a smile, a laugh, simply everything. And I talk about you all the time. I never realized how much I love you and how no matter what I could never stay angry at you, because we always got passed whatever that anger was.

I don't want to say goodbye, Kristi. It'll mean you're really gone and I just can't accept that yet. Though, I'd like to stop being angry. To stop feeling like an emotional rollercoaster. I understand it is part of the grieving cycle --- but I don't think I will ever stop missing you. And I promise I will never forget you.

You changed my life. Your death changed it even more.

I promise to love our family unconditionally. And I promise that I will follow my dreams like you were.

Until we meet again;
All my Love.