Every second of every minute of every hour of every day I will miss you. 

Your beautiful life was taken too soon. My anger rages inside me. Nineteen is no where near the proper time to die. A trip home to see your family is never the time to die. I cannot even fathom as to what plan God has for you, because my heart is in pieces. You were my cousin, my bestfriend, my parter-in-crime and it's just not fair. What am I going to do without your infectious laugh, your witty sarcasm, or your keen fashion sense? I miss you so much.

My words are all jumbled up inside. I can't think straight. I can't hardly think at all. I see you every where I go. The day after your funeral I went out to eat with Mom -- our waitress's name was Kristi (just like you spelled it even if I always spelled it with a 'y'). Then we went to Gordmans and wouldn't you know it, it was on Allen Drive. I tried to brush off those little reminders until I logged onto Facebook. A purple heart set underneath all the birthday reminders and next to that heart was your name in bold. Stupid game requests: you know how much I hate those damn things.

But I can't bring myself to delete it. Your name. By a heart. A reminder of our love and how much I miss you. I hope you're in a better place and that you're watching down on me (well, not every moment please).

Rest in Peace.
All my love,
Tori

Pee Catcher

Oh, sweet, sweet Jesus.

I am a pee catcher. Sounds gross, right? Definitely is unsanitary at the very least since it isn't even my own pee. It's Emmett's, my toy Aussie. And he hates it as much as I do. You see.... yesterday, when my friend came to let him out while I was at work he peed a little on the couch, just enough to be considered a tinkle.. He did this again when she came back to let him out a second time. I simply thought he was distracted since it was someone other than Dillon or me letting him out.

I hope I was wrong.
He's been rather feverish and I just chalked it up to his growing spurts and burning off his food. Yet last night when I touched him he was soaked with sweat, so I laid him down on my bed to sleep for the night. As he laid there he began to pee.. as he noticed he jumped off the bed, ran across the room, and straight into his kennel, where he continued to pee uncontrollably. Once he realized what had happened, he stood there in his own mess staring at me with a pleading look on his face. Granted I was a tad upset seeing as that he peed on my freshly cleaned sheets and my freshly deep-cleaned carpets, but I was more upset by the look on his face that made me think he was thinking I was going to beat his butt. That was a very sad moment.

So, I took him to the vet this morning. And I am now a catcher of pee. It's terrible to think that I kind of want him to have an infection just so I know he didnt pee all across my room for absolutely nothing. Only his pee will tell...

And I have to try to catch some.

Hansel & Gretel

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters recently hit the theatres across the country and to my delight it was incredibly amazing. The new twist on this movie (don't worry no spoilers!) held my attention and even made me jump once or twice. It was positively amazing; I haven't been able to get lost in a movie much like I do books in quite some time. I have been in some sort of "funk", if you will, and I am hoping this little bit of inspiration will allow me to open up and simply become a better me. I have not been able to write, study, work, exercise, eat healthy, or anything, which is simply unhealthy in and of itself. My bit of scatter-brained thoughts will arise out of here and I do hope that is alright with you. I highly suggest seeing this movie or going on a date with yourself (or others! I took my friend Serena!) and just releasing your grasp on the world for a few hours. Just enjoy being; being there, being alive, being alone, or being with someone you care about. Just be.